are you still at the devil's house?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
