YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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