You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
