You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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