oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
