From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
