dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Farmville is her only friend.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
