she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
