Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
