From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest