I think scott just propositioned me for sex
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
