I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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