Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
