is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
