i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
