I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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