omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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