we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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