does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
