Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
