So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
