sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
