Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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