don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
