He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
