No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize