By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did i walk over a car last night?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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