Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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