just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
In the future we'll all be gay
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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