Where did you get a picture of my penis
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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