Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
