He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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