I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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