I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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