Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
