what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
