I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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