Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
