Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances