but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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