Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat

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  (847): You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear (1-847): Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat http://tfl.nu/fogp
  Replies (2) Good night (1618) Bad night (643)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

  (330): View more from Ohio

  well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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  (440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5016) Bad night (579)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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  (205): what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/58rl
  Replies (38) Good night (680) Bad night (2912)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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  (603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124
  Replies (22) Good night (4647) Bad night (875)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

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  (636): Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half. http://tfl.nu/fs6e
  Replies (83) Good night (22559) Bad night (1031)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.

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  (703): The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe. http://tfl.nu/6izf
  Replies (17) Good night (4203) Bad night (942)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....

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  (630): He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now... (708): I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come.... http://tfl.nu/k2gw
  Replies (20) Good night (4966) Bad night (1151)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are paw prints all over my ceiling.

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  (303): There are paw prints all over my ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gg63
  Replies (12) Good night (3489) Bad night (722)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.

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  (414): I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before. http://tfl.nu/ok9g
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (1997)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.

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  (704): I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with. http://tfl.nu/hnbu
  Replies (4) Good night (1117) Bad night (2534)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop

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  (908): Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop http://tfl.nu/suxm
  Replies (12) Good night (1998) Bad night (759)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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  (850): Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list. http://tfl.nu/5auq
  Replies (6) Good night (1367) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL

  (1-714): View more from California

  Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!

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  (714): BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL (1-714): Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky! http://tfl.nu/0qet
  Replies (5) Good night (938) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon

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  (334): FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon http://tfl.nu/se3x
  Replies (9) Good night (2122) Bad night (398)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.

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  (828): Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high. http://tfl.nu/spu2
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (266)

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