He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
