You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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