the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
this will be a night to untag.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"