i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.