I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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