i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
