something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This house was built for laser tag.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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