please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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