she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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