woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
