He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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