just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
