pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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