I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
