Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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