put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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