It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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