She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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