You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
