It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
