I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize