Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
