Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
