i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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