Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
