My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
