Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
