I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
