I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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