If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
